My friend Tom has this awesome water slide set up in his back garden. Its just an ordinary kids plastic slide with a hose at the top and a long plastic sheet at the bottom, but its totally rad. The speed you can get on it is immense.
We tried everything to find ways of making the experience more extreme. Going down streamlined, toes pointed forward arms crossed seemed to work best. We called this the kamikaze. Going down in the bomb position (tucked up in a ball) worked good too.
But then my friends little sister Hannah had the best idea. Less friction = more speed.
In order to get less friction we lost the swim suits and went bare bottomed. It really worked.
The only downside was that sometimes we went so fast we'd go off the end of the sheet and end up in the flower bed and get covered in mud. But it was worth it.
On one attempt I decided to go kamikaze.
I shot down the slide hitting the sheet at speeds I'd not experienced. What happened next lasted under two seconds.
I was flying down the sheet and trying to adjust myself trying to avoid hitting the flower bed, when i noticed something towards the end of the sheet.
It was a wasp.
It was on its back not able to get out of the water, I didn't have much time to think but spread myself out in order to break. No use. I slid right over the little bugger and before I could get to the flower bed jumped in the air clenching my arse. Jesus it hurt. I did three laps of the garden cock first holding my arse screaming like a little girl.
Once I had settled down a bit, my friends mum had to put some cream on my arse hole.
I'm not going on that slide again.
It gave some kids a laugh though.