Whatever Ian said, happened

Dear Duffy,
I'm away with school at this place called Lindersfarn. Me and a few friend are in some dormitories quite secluded from the other kids.
This older boy called Ian is hear. He bought us vodka and cigarettes and he likes this band called rage against the machine and swearer a lot.
One night we decided to look in all the vacant dorms. My friend Stephen went into one room and found loads of porn magazines in a draw. When I say loads I mean at least 50.
We spent hours flicking through them, and always had a look out in case a prefect walked by. After a long debate about what to do with them Ian decided to hide them behind a wardrobe in my friends Micheal's dorm, so later we could come back at the end of the holiday and take them home.
Whatever Ian said, happened.
We all tipped the wardrobe, it took four of us to hold it up. Then we heard the owl call. Someone was coming. Without thinking too hard we all ran.
Well, not all. Micheal was left trying to hold the wardrobe up by himslef. He couldn't hold it any longer and the whole thing crashed down on top of him.
Hearing the crash and seeing a bunch of kids run, the prefect headed toward the sight and found Micheal on the floor with a wardrobe on top of him and a load of porn mags scattered around the room.
Teachers got involved, Micheal never told on us and the mags are gone so I can't bring them home.